It’s National Poetry Month this month, and Camp National Novel Writing Month, so I decided I’d try to write a poem each day for the month of April.
If I achieve it, I’ll create a book at the end of it and hopefully get it published, with proceeds going to a chosen charity. My personal choice? The Blurt Foundation. I love what they do for people dealing with anxiety and depression, and to help out with their work and support for others would be amazing… but more on that towards the end of the month!
It’s been a bit of a struggle to write the words for me over the last few days. I started writing this poem a few days ago because I knew it was going to be a struggle. For you see, I’ve finally succumbed to Covid-19. The test turned positive on Thursday last and I’ve just been loving the symptoms. The headaches, the temperature, the cough, and all my sinuses feeling bunged up. I suppose it was inevitable, but still – the fact that I’m stuck indoors looking out at the sunshine has been a bit frustrating. I’m on day 9 though, so here’s hoping I’ll be let out soon.
The biggest bugbear for me has been my tiredness and brain fog. Most of the time I’ve barely been able to motivate myself to read books, and that’s one of the highlights when I’m sick, so it’s been a chance to catch-up on TV instead. I recommend the second season of Bridgerton if anyone’s up for some easy-going, daft but entertaining TV. Oh, and I’ve finally started watching Derry Girls.
But that’s not why I’m writing this post. I’m writing this post because it’s the 1st April and I’ve written my first poem for the month. I’ve been told I over-manage my emotions. There’s reasons for that, of course, and maybe that will be an ongoing theme throughout the month ahead, facing up to those emotions I’d rather forget or push aside. To deal with them I take to words. Reading books, writing stories and poetry, even journaling. They help, but perhaps only in the short term. Because, ultimately, you need to feel those emotions. They’re there to teach you things. When you get angry it could be because your boundaries have been crossed. When you get fearful it’s because you feel unsafe. If you feel frustrated it’s because you’re unsure on the next action to take, or something’s stopping you from taking the action you know you should take.
Ah we all love the emotions of joy and happiness, but I suppose the trick is to understand the other emotions, based on the experience at the time and all the experiences that have come before.
Here’s a poem about my thoughts on emotions. I hope you enjoy, and watch out for more poetry throughout the month!
Words vs Emotions
I’ve spent a lifetime dealing with words
Discovering their flowing form
In the hopes that they somehow ascribe
Some meaning to this lifetime norm
I sit awhile and stare at the dark
I whisper to the sun in the sky
Trying to understand the deeper worth
Of the journey that passes me by
But words cannot always breathe the truth
There’s more than meets the eye
Like the word does not create the tree
It was there all along without a why
I feel things down in the depths of my soul
And there are days I can barely explain
Those rising bursts of aching fires
That twist with old memories of pain
I hide them away, those feelings, those fears
And turn to the words instead
For logic and thought should surely be best
Yes, I’d rather be smart and well-read
Ah but deep in the dark, when I forget
Those feelings arise like a whip
And I forget the words I’ve written and spoke
And hear words others have let rip
And then I remember a word is a word
It cannot always be true
It can dig in your heart, deep like a knife
But it’s up to you to feel blue
If you know what you are, that essence inside
Then surely that’s all there is
A life isn’t measured with just a word
But by the days we reminisce
And those days are filled with feeling
Those moments belong in our heart
Words might trigger the emotions inside
But don’t let them tear you apart
A mind trembles and twists like a hungry storm
While a heart seeks out wonder and bliss
But the thing is, my friends, my kin
Without emotions our lives would be missed.
Kate @ Kandid Chronicles x