I’m not sure where this poem came from, but the words sort of dangled in front of me and I put the words on the screen like they were trembling things, waiting to be released. I suppose it’s a tale about life, about how some days we feel bleak and despairing, watching the weather change and the seasons slip through our fingers. It’s about how even the little things are important, how we struggle with the reasoning of life and why we’re here. It’s about dreams and how they’re important, yet also about how we need to seize the day and life as much as we can before the end. Yes, I guess it’s about a multitude of things that have been playing on my mind. Likely because of one of my recent reads, ‘The Midnight Library’ by Matt Haig. I guess my thoughts are still influenced by that book. You can read my review on it here, if you like. But I don’t think I’ve really delved into why I loved the book so much. Maybe because I’m partly afraid to talk about it.

You see, several months ago – last September, I had a very bad experience with my mental health. It was due to several things, namely the situation with COVID-19. I spent months afterwards terrified to go out of the house – my throat would feel like it was closing up, my tongue felt awkward in my mouth, my neck would feel tight as a taut string. I was terrified to go to sleep also, feeling like if I fell asleep I would die, or something bad would happen. I spent several days at the beginning not sleeping at all because of this, or if I did fall asleep for brief moments, I’d wake up bolt upright in terror.

I was put on some medication to help with my anxieties, and wow, it did help after a few months. Now I’m much better, but the fact still remains that I went through that awful period. Now I relish the fact I can go walking, where before I couldn’t go more than a few hundred yards without my anxieties overwhelming me. I smile at that fact now, how such a small thing can be so big, and have such a big impact. Every time I go out for a walk, I think back to those unforgettable and scary times and just appreciate the glorious moment that I am living. Maybe there will be some bad times ahead, but my journey will always be filled with light and dark. Because that’s life isn’t it? There are dark times, yes, but there are good times too. And those good times have to ensure we take steps through the dark.

That’s what Matt Haig’s ‘The Midnight Library’ showed me. That over my most terrifying moments, I’d still chosen to live. And now I feel blessed by all that I have in my life.

Maybe that’s partly what this poem is about. How even in the bleakest of times you can find the will to live. To celebrate moments and small things – that are really big things if you think about it.

Anyhow, I hope you like today’s poem.

Live to Learn

I dry a single tear
It whispers on my cheek
The day has only begun
But I say the day looks bleak

The sky is slated grey
The rain about to pour
The birds flock back to nests
Oh how I wish to soar

It’s crazy how it sounds
Like a dream upon the breeze
I once dove in without a care
Every day I swear I’d seize

But now I stare at open grass
I wonder at the sky
A rose appears unbidden now
And my mind on life thinks why

Life is lived, and lived to learn
Yet we all sit and question reason
We sit and watch the world turn
And we celebrate the seasons

It’s the little things in life 
That measure who we are
Sometimes all it takes
Is a wish upon a star

Some of us will scramble
They fight until the top
While others sit in languor
Their aim in life is stop

I want a life well lived I say
I want a dream to sing
Even in these darkest days
Where the sky turns into tin

A storm is breaking, ever closer
It lights up the darkened sky
And in the midst of this tempest
I smile and know I’ll try

I’ll live a little every day
I’ll do the things I love
Let the days descend to ever after
While I stare at the scene above

Risk a little, dream a lot
I’ll breathe a little deeper
My tale I’ll tell with wonder now
On the day I’ll meet the reaper.

Kate @ Kandid Chronicles x